Think of a time in your own life when you experienced someone else’s anger. Where were you? What did you instantly feel? What did you do or not do?
In 2012, I was in the Miami airport on the way to Haiti. My phone rang as I was waiting to board. I answered thinking my mom was calling me to wish me a nice trip. Nope. She started screaming at me about being behind in paying her back money owed. I instantly knew I was at fault. I was sick to my stomach. She wouldn’t let me speak. She told me to pay her immediately and not to leave the country before I did.
I didn’t have the money, and if I didn’t continue my my trip, I would be out even more money. I got on the plane and was not reachable for 7 days. I was sick the whole time. I wrote her and my father an email and took full responsibility and apologized. There was nothing else for me to do.
The mother in Terms of Endearment Shirley MacLaine’s character was furious that her daughter wasn’t getting her pain medicine fast enough. She didn’t think the nurses were moving fast enough. She didn’t care if the nurse she spoke to wasn’t assigned to her daughter. In her mind, she was the ONLY patient in the hospital, and they needed to drop everything and make her daughter feel better.
If I remember only one thing from my reading about understanding anger, it is to never make decisions when either party is angry. In my situation, my students do not play a role in the decision making process. If the school staff or the families made decisions in anger, it would only hurt the child.
I love how Diane communicated with D.J.’s mother. She never gave up. She treated her with respect. She was not judgemental. Her notes and photos were kind. I think the most important thing Diane did was not to listen to the principal and consulting teacher. I almost cried when she received a note in return at the end of the year. Connections can be made in so many ways, and Diane made one with D.J’s mother. Yeah Diane!
Enhancing the Dance Chapter 5
Dear Rachel,
I want you to know what an honor it has been to be T’s teacher for the last 3 years. I appreciate you allowing me to serve your family in and out of school. You gave your daughter the middle name “Joy”, and I can’t even begin to tell you how much joy she has brought to our classroom. No matter where my career takes me, your family will always hold a special place in my heart.
Raechelle
All JOY...All the time! 